As I walked away from my first therapy session I felt very strange. It was liberating to tell someone out loud who I really am and how it feels every day to pretend to be someone else.

My whole life I have had to present this “expected person” to the world. He’s my greatest creation. But  it’s exhausting playing him every day. I’m so sick of it.

I just dream about one day not having to be “him” and just be me.

But it’s only when I say it all out loud that I begin understand it. I begin to see how it has affected my life and how painful it always feels. I am such a fool.

Written by Beth

Behind a calm and friendly exterior I try every day to deal with a gender dysphoria I have had since I was four years old. I have never really known how to deal with it so have kept it to myself but have started a talking therapy and a blog to see if that helps.

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