To live a life free of bigots

I don’t choose to feel the way I do, to be the person I am. My gender dysphoria has always been there. This conflict, this pain, this sorrow has always been with me and remains with me every day from my first waking moments to my last thoughts at night.

I wish I could overcome, be free of it but sadly I never have and I fear now I never will.

Bad Old Days

I grew up at a time when bigotry and hatred of people like me was the common attitude in society. It was normal to deride, make fun of and exclude us. It was acceptable to lie about us and label us deviant or criminal. But slowly, over time, increasing numbers of good, kind compassionate people have taken the time to understand. There is still a long way to go.

To be “Normal”

For most people, their gender identity and their physical gender match and they never give it a second thought. But when that doesn’t happen, when a disconnect occurs it can and does devastate your life. I don’t know why it happens but I can tell you it does.

For those of us that feel this pain and suffer the consequences of this dysphoria we strive for the rest of our lives to overcome it and find peace.

Are we human?

We are not perverts or deviants. We don’t seek access to women’s spaces in the hope of easy access to a cheap thrill. These are just the hate filled exclusionary arguments of bigots with wider agendas to address. Just as with the homophobic bigots easy trasnphobic stereotypes are used to create hatred and exclusion. Remember when they used to perpetuate the lie that all gay men were child molesters. Now they say trasngender women seek access to women’s spaces because they are sexual deviants and perverts. The bigots will find themselves on the wrong side of history again.

We, just want to live peaceful quiet, unnoticed, unremarkable lives. We don’t seek to harm others or cause distress.

We strive to live a life that feels true to us, to live in peace and in harmony with ourselves and the world. To be allowed to live in peace as who we truly are. To be accepted.

Acceptance

Only when society stops tolerating the bigoted anti transgender lobbies can our vulnerable and marginalised brothers and sisters hope to achieve acceptance.

My true heroes

My heroes aren’t sports stars or actors, I respect, admire and am grateful to our military. But my lifelong heroes are and will always simply be all of you.

Over the years it is transgender men and women like you who have given me hope. Your stories of transition, your determination to overcome problems, your fight, has made me feel that I at least could have a chance.

Through everything you have endured, through documenting your stories, your struggles to a skeptical world you have helped us all become increasingly accepted in many more spheres of life. And although there are still many bigots, there are many more supporters too.

I don’t know where you have found your strength, your courage, your commitment. But just knowing you are there, just knowing what you can achieve is enough for me to get through a day.

I may feel tearful as I write this but I know one day it will all be OK. We just need to keep getting up in the morning, put one foot in front of the other and face every new day.

Be free, be happy, be loved but most of all … be you.

xxx